Been meaning to update this bad boy for a while.
Here's some of my journal entries as of late... adding and subtracting some.
I read from a devotional the other day:
"When you are weary and everything seems to be going wrong, you can still utter these four words: 'I trust You, Jesus.' By doing so, you release matters into the security of My everlasting arms."
"You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable. Let Me lead you to the Rock that is higher than you and your circumstances. Take refuge in the shelter of My wings, where you are absolutely secure... When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip my hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. Say yes to the ways I work in your life. Trust Me."
Lately God has just been bringing me back to these verses:
Isaiah 12:2// Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation.
Psalm 61:2-4// I call to You when my heart is faint. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, for You have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in Your tent forever. Let me take refuge under the shelter of Your wings.
Now, don't get me wrong. My life is by no means out of control. BUT I have realized that I do have a bit of a trust issue as far as my future goes. Blah. Bleh. So silly.
When has my Beloved EVER failed me?
Theme as of late: Walk in Love.
How am I doing this?
How can I be doing this better?
For starters... If I choose to walk in love, my attitude will be better, I'll be able to look at people and situations through God's eyes, AND (tonight's revelation) I'll be able to trust my Beloved more fully.
A lack of trust shows a hesitancy.
It shows a lack of faith.
So again, when has my Savior EVER failed me?!
Proverbs 10 says, "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely."
If I'm walking in HIS love, walking with Him and continuing to seek Him diligently, I can be confident that He will order my steps. He will lead me on solid ground.
I know He is the perfect shepherd.
I know that I can trust Him wholeheartedly... For He is perfect in all of His ways.
He won't lead me astray.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Walk in Love.
Typical Valentine's Day title, right?
Just a coincidence for sure... I'm not really looking to make this entry about today. I want to instead give a little update about my Outreach to Thailand with YWAM.
One of the lessons I learned during the hot, testing, dirty, but so-worth-it times in Thailand was to seriously, walk in love. When the outreach options were given, I really had no doubt that I was supposed to go to Thailand. Only during the 37 days that I was there did I realize why.
Those people need love.
I was so thankful that the whole time we weren't about how many people we could convert or whatever, but that we focused on building relationships and just showing and sharing God's love with them. It really was our focus as we were in the village living with and working for the people, as we were living in a tree house doing (too many) English camps at the surrounding schools, as we spent time with the men and girls at our last location... which also of course, included English camps, and as we did a night of bar ministry.
God really spoke to me of His pursuit of His children- which hit me hard. That was a lesson I was gradually learning the whole time and that I felt called to share, with my words when I was able to share my testimony at our last church service in Thailand and through my actions everyday.
Before I left for YWAM I was a little worried about the change that seemed unavoidable. I was, honestly, worried that I wasn't going to be able to be myself anymore. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. Praise the Lord for His understanding! Praise the Lord that He created me on purpose... the way I am.
I do, after all this, FEEL different. I feel more free, lighter, more full of joy. You get the picture. It's so cool though, and totally, unexpected really.
Praise the Lord for transformation!
I'm excited to be able to share more detailed stories and more lessons I learned.
Hope this was at least a little helpful to those interested.
Love and Blessings!
Just a coincidence for sure... I'm not really looking to make this entry about today. I want to instead give a little update about my Outreach to Thailand with YWAM.
One of the lessons I learned during the hot, testing, dirty, but so-worth-it times in Thailand was to seriously, walk in love. When the outreach options were given, I really had no doubt that I was supposed to go to Thailand. Only during the 37 days that I was there did I realize why.
Those people need love.
I was so thankful that the whole time we weren't about how many people we could convert or whatever, but that we focused on building relationships and just showing and sharing God's love with them. It really was our focus as we were in the village living with and working for the people, as we were living in a tree house doing (too many) English camps at the surrounding schools, as we spent time with the men and girls at our last location... which also of course, included English camps, and as we did a night of bar ministry.
God really spoke to me of His pursuit of His children- which hit me hard. That was a lesson I was gradually learning the whole time and that I felt called to share, with my words when I was able to share my testimony at our last church service in Thailand and through my actions everyday.
Before I left for YWAM I was a little worried about the change that seemed unavoidable. I was, honestly, worried that I wasn't going to be able to be myself anymore. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. Praise the Lord for His understanding! Praise the Lord that He created me on purpose... the way I am.
I do, after all this, FEEL different. I feel more free, lighter, more full of joy. You get the picture. It's so cool though, and totally, unexpected really.
Praise the Lord for transformation!
I'm excited to be able to share more detailed stories and more lessons I learned.
Hope this was at least a little helpful to those interested.
Love and Blessings!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Outreach so far.
Well I'm back from the village, and what an experience so far!
We arrived late on the 26th (Thailand time.) after 20 hours in the air plus layover time and such... long day. But as I just mentioned to someone today- that felt like an out of body experience. I was very grateful that the plane was comfy AND had a number of movies to pick from. I sure had my movie fill that day... We spent the time at the YWAM Thailand base, had orientation the next day and then headed to meet our first contact- Lawn.
We spent the evening at his house for our "Christmas Dinner" (which was beyond wonderful) and then spent the night at the school that he teaches at. Only to be off early the next morning for the village. It was about 4 hour drive... all in the back of a truck. Half on the time was on "normal roads" and then we hit the dusty, bumpy trails for the second half... WITH some masks to help with the dust issue. It was a good trek. I think I can speak for all those in the back of the truck by saying that our butts were pretty ready to get out- BUT it was actually a really fun, bonding experience.
Then we roughed it.
Tents, bathing in a river, interesting toilet situations, a nice 2 outfit rotation (for me at least) and lots of work with cement. But it was so worth it, hands down.
As far as memories go...
Favorite job: building a stone wall. It was around their school sign where a cute little garden/flower bed was going to go. My hands swelled and dried up a bit from handling the cement for that long- which was slightly humorous. But it really was a good time.
Favorite river fun: floating down the river on our off day... through rapids. Screaming with joy and pain at the same time. Delicious. Hilarious. Best. If we're being honest, and I am, I may or may not have peed like 5 times within that little bit because it was THAT funny. But that may be a little too much information there for some of you...
Favorite night: dance party with the kids after a little time of ministry, funny how that worked out... but it was too awesome.
Favorite little girl: I can't even pronounce her name. But it was so sweet. She clung to me, sat on me until my legs were numb, etc. Sweet-sweet-sweet. Just warms my heart thinking about it... GEM I tell you.
Favorite little boy: Warawot. (spelling might be off there.... and my pronounciation but whatever.) Total sweet heart. We were doing crafts with the kids and Kris and I were getting him to make this headband thing... so we wrote on his and then he took the crayon and writes 2 "I love _____." and asked us to each put our name in a blank. I wanted to cry. Just precious I tell you.
Favorite day activity: probably getting to take a day off and go with Lawn and some of the village boys into the village for a grocery run. It was such a sweet time!
I could go on... and on. BUT bottom line here: I really do feel like we impacted the people there by our hard work and our actions. They probably impacted me just as much (if not more...) than that. I seriously feel like the kids taught me so much. Incredible. Every day I could look at them and find something else to apply to my life. Servanthood, gentleness, compassion, kindness, sharing, eagerness, joy.... and so on. I just felt God speaking to me through the people there every day.
So now we're back and on to an English camp in the morning for this weekend before we head out to our next location! I'm just ready for God to keep bringing it and teaching me the importance of all the little things. Choosing to make every action one of worship.
That's the general overview of life here so far.
Two thumbs up from me. :)
We arrived late on the 26th (Thailand time.) after 20 hours in the air plus layover time and such... long day. But as I just mentioned to someone today- that felt like an out of body experience. I was very grateful that the plane was comfy AND had a number of movies to pick from. I sure had my movie fill that day... We spent the time at the YWAM Thailand base, had orientation the next day and then headed to meet our first contact- Lawn.
We spent the evening at his house for our "Christmas Dinner" (which was beyond wonderful) and then spent the night at the school that he teaches at. Only to be off early the next morning for the village. It was about 4 hour drive... all in the back of a truck. Half on the time was on "normal roads" and then we hit the dusty, bumpy trails for the second half... WITH some masks to help with the dust issue. It was a good trek. I think I can speak for all those in the back of the truck by saying that our butts were pretty ready to get out- BUT it was actually a really fun, bonding experience.
Then we roughed it.
Tents, bathing in a river, interesting toilet situations, a nice 2 outfit rotation (for me at least) and lots of work with cement. But it was so worth it, hands down.
As far as memories go...
Favorite job: building a stone wall. It was around their school sign where a cute little garden/flower bed was going to go. My hands swelled and dried up a bit from handling the cement for that long- which was slightly humorous. But it really was a good time.
Favorite river fun: floating down the river on our off day... through rapids. Screaming with joy and pain at the same time. Delicious. Hilarious. Best. If we're being honest, and I am, I may or may not have peed like 5 times within that little bit because it was THAT funny. But that may be a little too much information there for some of you...
Favorite night: dance party with the kids after a little time of ministry, funny how that worked out... but it was too awesome.
Favorite little girl: I can't even pronounce her name. But it was so sweet. She clung to me, sat on me until my legs were numb, etc. Sweet-sweet-sweet. Just warms my heart thinking about it... GEM I tell you.
Favorite little boy: Warawot. (spelling might be off there.... and my pronounciation but whatever.) Total sweet heart. We were doing crafts with the kids and Kris and I were getting him to make this headband thing... so we wrote on his and then he took the crayon and writes 2 "I love _____." and asked us to each put our name in a blank. I wanted to cry. Just precious I tell you.
Favorite day activity: probably getting to take a day off and go with Lawn and some of the village boys into the village for a grocery run. It was such a sweet time!
I could go on... and on. BUT bottom line here: I really do feel like we impacted the people there by our hard work and our actions. They probably impacted me just as much (if not more...) than that. I seriously feel like the kids taught me so much. Incredible. Every day I could look at them and find something else to apply to my life. Servanthood, gentleness, compassion, kindness, sharing, eagerness, joy.... and so on. I just felt God speaking to me through the people there every day.
So now we're back and on to an English camp in the morning for this weekend before we head out to our next location! I'm just ready for God to keep bringing it and teaching me the importance of all the little things. Choosing to make every action one of worship.
That's the general overview of life here so far.
Two thumbs up from me. :)
Friday, December 23, 2011
to THAILAND we go...
So I leave from my Colorado home tomorrow at 4:30 to head to the airport and to fly out to the Land of Smiles. I am honestly SO pumped. I keep being asked if I'm nervous... my answer, not really. Any bit of nervousness has been completely overrun by my excitedness. God is going to CONTINUE to rock my face off, I have no doubt.
I know I'll be stretched and taught even more than I can even expect or that has already happened... which seems crazy to me. But I know God is a incomprehendable guy, and I get more excited about Him everyday. I love that I find myself learned something NEW about Him every single day. How sweet is HE?!
Keep my team in your prayers. I'll be sure to update you all whenever I get the chance.
Love and Blessings to each of you.
and... MERRY CHRISTMAS.
May God reveal Himself to you even a smidge more than yesterday!
I know I'll be stretched and taught even more than I can even expect or that has already happened... which seems crazy to me. But I know God is a incomprehendable guy, and I get more excited about Him everyday. I love that I find myself learned something NEW about Him every single day. How sweet is HE?!
Keep my team in your prayers. I'll be sure to update you all whenever I get the chance.
Love and Blessings to each of you.
and... MERRY CHRISTMAS.
May God reveal Himself to you even a smidge more than yesterday!
Friday, December 16, 2011
OUTREACH MODE.
How in the world did I get here?
I've been molded, refined, transformed, and stretched more so than I think I ever have been in my life. God has become more real to me than I could have ever expected. I honestly can say I've loved every minute of being here in this beautiful state. Although it's undeniable that it hasn't all been easy, it's been totally worth it.
The scenery is delicious. The teachings have touched my heart. The people here are as close as family. God has shown up again and again and continued to transform my heart. I cry more often than I ever have. I could blame it on the estrogen, but I'm fairly positive that it's so much more than that. My heart has melted and I feel like it could just burst at any moment. It's THAT full.
Next step- sayinggoodbyetooverhalfoftheseamazingpeople-notsogood.
BUT the step after will make it all worth it.
Team Thailand is off to Kansas for a couple days to work with a couple different organizations. Service projects, sharing our dramas, basically just helping the hurting and sharing God's love in many different ways. I really look forward to it.
Then we come back to Colorado to fly out to THAILAND. Can you believe it? I hardly can.
We're going to be in a village for the first bit. We're going to be doing some ESL, little camps for the children, working.... all day/errrday. AND bathing in the river. I'm so stoked. After that we're headed to the "Tree of Life Children's Home." I absolutely cannot wait to pour into these children's lives. I want to share with them the love my Heavenly Father has poured out so abundantly in my life. Then we head to the "Abba House Recovery Center." We'll be working with several different age groups: Ex-prostitutes, hurt children, young boys, etc.
I really can't even begin to tell you all what I believe this trip in going to do for me. I have no doubt I'll be stretched more so than I expect. I'll shower less and wear the same clothes over again. I'll cry more than I'm comfortable with. God will pour out His strength more so than I could ever imagine. And so much more.
Whatever He wants to do, I'm so game.
I'm as "ready" as I can be.
And more importantly I KNOW God is going to give my team every ounce of strength that we need. Praise the Lord, right?!
He is forever faithful. His mercies are new every morning. I choose to pick up my cross DAILY and follow Him wherever He decides to lead me.
Thank you all for your prayer and support. I really can't even begin to express the gratitude I have for all of that. It has meant so much! Continued prayer would also be MUCH appreciated!
You [all are] da bayyyst.
Farewell for now.
Blessings!
I've been molded, refined, transformed, and stretched more so than I think I ever have been in my life. God has become more real to me than I could have ever expected. I honestly can say I've loved every minute of being here in this beautiful state. Although it's undeniable that it hasn't all been easy, it's been totally worth it.
The scenery is delicious. The teachings have touched my heart. The people here are as close as family. God has shown up again and again and continued to transform my heart. I cry more often than I ever have. I could blame it on the estrogen, but I'm fairly positive that it's so much more than that. My heart has melted and I feel like it could just burst at any moment. It's THAT full.
Next step- sayinggoodbyetooverhalfoftheseamazingpeople-notsogood.
BUT the step after will make it all worth it.
Team Thailand is off to Kansas for a couple days to work with a couple different organizations. Service projects, sharing our dramas, basically just helping the hurting and sharing God's love in many different ways. I really look forward to it.
Then we come back to Colorado to fly out to THAILAND. Can you believe it? I hardly can.
We're going to be in a village for the first bit. We're going to be doing some ESL, little camps for the children, working.... all day/errrday. AND bathing in the river. I'm so stoked. After that we're headed to the "Tree of Life Children's Home." I absolutely cannot wait to pour into these children's lives. I want to share with them the love my Heavenly Father has poured out so abundantly in my life. Then we head to the "Abba House Recovery Center." We'll be working with several different age groups: Ex-prostitutes, hurt children, young boys, etc.
I really can't even begin to tell you all what I believe this trip in going to do for me. I have no doubt I'll be stretched more so than I expect. I'll shower less and wear the same clothes over again. I'll cry more than I'm comfortable with. God will pour out His strength more so than I could ever imagine. And so much more.
Whatever He wants to do, I'm so game.
I'm as "ready" as I can be.
And more importantly I KNOW God is going to give my team every ounce of strength that we need. Praise the Lord, right?!
He is forever faithful. His mercies are new every morning. I choose to pick up my cross DAILY and follow Him wherever He decides to lead me.
Thank you all for your prayer and support. I really can't even begin to express the gratitude I have for all of that. It has meant so much! Continued prayer would also be MUCH appreciated!
You [all are] da bayyyst.
Farewell for now.
Blessings!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
11 down.// 1 to go.
You heard me. Craziness...
I've officially been in colorful Colorado for 11 wonderful weeks. (clever, right?)
Leaving me with ONE left.
How am I feeling about it?
I can't even think about it... Like, don't misunderstand here- I'm pumpppped for Thailand. Seriously- thrilled, ecstatic, leaping for joy. BUT I can't think about our group splitting up. 17 on team Thailand, 20 on DR/Haiti, and 5 to Brazil.
I never, ever... (for those of you who talked to me before I came can vouch for me on this one) thought I'd make as good as friends as I have. These people are hands-down my second family.
I can't believe how different I feel either. It's so crazy. God has totally transformed me and I know He's still doing work in me. Praise the Lord! HA.
Like really, I'm learning so much. Life lessons, SO much about my Lord, my thought pattern is changing, attitude about a lot of things, so on and so forth.
What's been the teach these past couple weeks? hmmm. Let's see, I went home for a short little Thanksgiving break (which was SO nice to get to spend time with the fam and see some of my friends. real good.) Reunited with my Colorado after the weekend, only to JUMP back into the normal busy schedule of classes and such.
We've had weeks of lessons on Lifestyle of Repentance, Missions, and the Holy Spirit.
ALL of which have been... you guessed it, SO GOOD. I now have PAGES upon PAGES of notes which will take me MONTHS of Quiet Times and stuff to go through as thoroughly as I'd like, but I'm so excited about it.
Yesterday was our "Love Feast." aka: Our Christmas dinner/ big event. It was SERIOUSLY one of the best nights here. SO fun. Each room gave an "offering" plus some individuals threw in some extra acts. It was hilarious and so so incredible. They also gave out "superlative" awards... I am thrilled to share that I got the "Esther Award-- for being a woman of influence." I just wanted to cry. HA (yes, I'm more of a softy now..) Pictures WILL be posted on the big FB soon.
This week is Director's Choice, and I have no idea what that means. A WHOLE lot of packing and cleaning things up. Something just spectacular I'm sure. And it's undeniable that there is going to be some crying happening. I've just got to face facts sometime, right? I have learned that I'm better at change than I thought, but still. This is gonna be slightly difficult.
But if I've learned one thing (which, Praise the Lord that I have.... times like, a billion), I have no doubt that God is still gonna be faithful and hold me in tact. ha//
I've got a TON of pictures on Facebook. like really, I've taken OVER 700 pictures so far. It's actually a bit ridiculous.. but feel free to creep around a bit if you'd like.
which I guess in order to find this, you've already creeped a tad. GOOD. I'm happy you did!
Hope this has helped to fill [you] in a bit.
Have a blessed week, dear ones.
I've officially been in colorful Colorado for 11 wonderful weeks. (clever, right?)
Leaving me with ONE left.
How am I feeling about it?
I can't even think about it... Like, don't misunderstand here- I'm pumpppped for Thailand. Seriously- thrilled, ecstatic, leaping for joy. BUT I can't think about our group splitting up. 17 on team Thailand, 20 on DR/Haiti, and 5 to Brazil.
I never, ever... (for those of you who talked to me before I came can vouch for me on this one) thought I'd make as good as friends as I have. These people are hands-down my second family.
I can't believe how different I feel either. It's so crazy. God has totally transformed me and I know He's still doing work in me. Praise the Lord! HA.
Like really, I'm learning so much. Life lessons, SO much about my Lord, my thought pattern is changing, attitude about a lot of things, so on and so forth.
What's been the teach these past couple weeks? hmmm. Let's see, I went home for a short little Thanksgiving break (which was SO nice to get to spend time with the fam and see some of my friends. real good.) Reunited with my Colorado after the weekend, only to JUMP back into the normal busy schedule of classes and such.
We've had weeks of lessons on Lifestyle of Repentance, Missions, and the Holy Spirit.
ALL of which have been... you guessed it, SO GOOD. I now have PAGES upon PAGES of notes which will take me MONTHS of Quiet Times and stuff to go through as thoroughly as I'd like, but I'm so excited about it.
Yesterday was our "Love Feast." aka: Our Christmas dinner/ big event. It was SERIOUSLY one of the best nights here. SO fun. Each room gave an "offering" plus some individuals threw in some extra acts. It was hilarious and so so incredible. They also gave out "superlative" awards... I am thrilled to share that I got the "Esther Award-- for being a woman of influence." I just wanted to cry. HA (yes, I'm more of a softy now..) Pictures WILL be posted on the big FB soon.
This week is Director's Choice, and I have no idea what that means. A WHOLE lot of packing and cleaning things up. Something just spectacular I'm sure. And it's undeniable that there is going to be some crying happening. I've just got to face facts sometime, right? I have learned that I'm better at change than I thought, but still. This is gonna be slightly difficult.
But if I've learned one thing (which, Praise the Lord that I have.... times like, a billion), I have no doubt that God is still gonna be faithful and hold me in tact. ha//
I've got a TON of pictures on Facebook. like really, I've taken OVER 700 pictures so far. It's actually a bit ridiculous.. but feel free to creep around a bit if you'd like.
which I guess in order to find this, you've already creeped a tad. GOOD. I'm happy you did!
Hope this has helped to fill [you] in a bit.
Have a blessed week, dear ones.
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